Lately my writing has been private. This is due to my mother dying on January 30th. I have had a lot to process as I travel between Ohio and Pennsylvania. The stress of losing a loved one, aiding three wildlings under 7 in their grief and understanding of death, managing an estate, cleaning out a house, and dealing with my personal cycle of grief.
One of the things that has made this most difficult is that she chose to not have a memorial service. The lack of a closing ritual and space to celebrate her life has been extraordinarily difficult for me. Now that I am done with the bulk of travel I am going to perform my own ceremony, but it will not be the same. I am used to the concept of an old-fashioned Irish wake where you get together and share stories, memories, food and drink.
For a variety of reasons I am estranged from the remainder of my biological family. Contact has gone very well, but obviously awkward for not having spoken for years. Plus without a history and foundation of trust and support I find it difficult to take assistance from them because I do not know if there is a hidden motive or if they are altruistic.
This reinforces the bonds I want to have with my children and for them to have with each other. It has also enabled me to reach out to other family members about connecting more frequently and consistently once I am done with this part of the travel.
This life cycle experience has also reinforced where my spiritual and devotional practice falls in my life; as well as my writing. Priorities always come to light when major life events occur. It is a good time to take stock and evaluate/re-evaluate what is and is not important.
I have asked for more help in the last few weeks than I have in a very long time. I will continue asking for help as well. Without this help, there is just no way I could keep up on managing two houses in two different states, plus keep family life as stable as possible.
Sassy Viking Mama